The Island Last year, I really didn't like Thirst. But I want to take this oppurtunity to apologise to Thirst, because all the time that I was watching The Island I had the same response as I had to Thirst. And I realised that I need to apologise to Thirst. Because I spoke to harshly and meanly to Thirst. Yes, I still dislike it as much as I did before. But Thirst was interesting. Thirst is a movie with strange ideas and tries to do a bunch of interesting stuff, and in my opinion fails entirely. To get to the matter at hand, The Island is something else entirely. The Island is pure 100% garbage, the worst thing I have ever seen.
I mean, CINECAST!. The story is pure hookum. Stem cell research is a topic that is so controversial that is has to be dealt with delicacy, see Moon, but can you think of one person who could so ham-fistedly destroy that then Bay? Seriously? I mean, The Rock was terroists on a rock, Armaggedon was a big asteriod, and Transformers was robots hitting each other. These plots are made for Bay, stupid, but eneptly easy to execute. The Island should never have been in his hands, the idea should not have been his to bastardise the industry that many people support (I actually have no stance on the issue, but it's as if Bay made an action movie about Abortion and turned the pro-abortion people into Hans Landa).
And that's not even the worse part!! Get over the stupid balck and white shenanigans of the story, the plotting itself is awful. So we have this idea that the clones act stupider then they look, like they come into the world with curiosity and stuff, and they don't know how things worked and stuff. And it's played for comedy, like when they arrive at a biker bar (how come all these movies have biker bars?) And those scenes were so awful, they made me so mad at the characters and michael bay for making that decision. These and random comedy moments (the crazy receptionist at the insititute, and the "Jesus loves you" guy. PS, why are both these people Black?) are so distracting, in a movie where I was dying watching it and distractions should be a gift from heaven, they actually made me feel more nauscus.
Which brings us to the meet of this movie, explosions. And, would you know, there's a lot of them. But they are done is such a way that I had no CINECAST!ing idea where anything was or who was doing what, I was so CINECAST!ing confused and my head was throbbing. And this is coming from a guy who was brought up in the MTV/Matrix generation. My mind was so pissed, they go everywhere and none of it seems plausible at all. And there's the lighting, all futuristic and shit which was annoying, and even worse was the simple camera placements, which felt always stupid and rushed and done so horribly it...grr...
Mcgregor and Johansson were no good, and neither was Bean. I enjoyed Steve Buscemi on a "I love Buscemi" level, he was fun, and barely in the movie. Hounsou is one of the most underapprecited actors of our generation, but he was wasted here, and had one of the most implausable character arcs ever (turning sides just like that WTF?).
Oh, and did I mention the awful ending? CINECAST! me.