Gin is reasonably good mixed with something like 7-Up and tonic isn't that bad mixed with something like the bottom of a drain.
I will try tackling this one thing at a time by order of seriousness.
Can I ask how come you're trying all these different liquors before regular wine? I would think that would be the first think anyone tastes, and by that I mean, I am appalled, and feel compelled to open a bottle of red to drink to your poor, sober, Bordeaux-less children.
Isn't Budweiser the American Heineken, but worse? Why would you expose anyone to that?
Gin is an ambrosia that was invented by Dionysus on his trip to the botanical garden and is one of the few good things left in the world. If you've never tasted a good one I can recommend some brands. Most people are only familiar with the likes of Gordon's and Bombay Sapphire which are to gin what Internet Explorer is to web browsers.
Gin and tonic typically refers to all mixes of gin and tonic-like beverages, of which ginger ale is one example. Ginger ale is almost universally superior to tonic and whenever I get the chance it is my pick if I am going the cocktail route. The brand is essential because most of the taste in the cocktail comes from the tonic, so if one a budget one should invest in a good tonic instead of a good gin. I have gin and tonics because whenever I fill a balloon with neat gin it apparently means that I « have a drinking problem ».
Absinthe would be the obvious choice but you cannot find the proper stuff nowadays, only the heretical 50% kind.
Most unfortunate. I have a nice 80% bottle in my cupboard and equally strong and stronger is still available here.
I did not realise we were allowed to suggest brown spirits. In order:
Other, lesser whiskies (with the interesting recent inclusion of the Japanese variety)
Instead of the vodka/orange juice option, typically associated with college parties and getting thoroughly trashed, can I suggest instead Bloody Marries, typically associated with white women having brunch and getting thoroughly tipsy?
Also, it dawns on me that no one's mentioned mead yet, which surely fills the sweet criteria.