So when in crisis, make changes. I have been in the most dire place psychologically that I have been in since before I was diagnosed with Unspecified Bipolar Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, two conditions that run mild-to-moderate depending on your treatment. So here are the life changes I'd like to share:
I have deleted all of my social media accounts except Letterboxd. Does this forum count as social media? If so, then there were two exceptions. I don't see myself every leaving here. This is the place I come to when I'm looking for decency - good, passionate back and forth - but always decency. And also, we mostly talk about my favorite thing, films.
Facebook, Instagram (I apparently had two accounts), and Twitter (which I rarely used anyway) are all gone. They just amplify the cruelty and sadness of the world. If I ever need to be part of a revolution, maybe I'll jump back on. Otherwise, worthless to me.
I'm also cancelling some political magazines I subscribe to and reducing my political intake via podcasts. It's not total withdrawal, and I certainly as hell will still be voting (D) in all upcoming elections, but I don't want to live in it anymore. Just a weekly 538 Politics podcast, and I'm subscribed to the Jacobin podcast as well. Beyond that, Filmspotting, Next Picture Show, and some sports podcasts.
I'm donating a living room's worth of things. One-by-one, I'm doing away with COVID-19 activities I've picked up, and have consolidated all of my personal belongings to two small bedrooms.
I'm taking a long-term break from video games, and will not be coming back to any multiplayer or online titles. I just want escape and adventure, where I persevere, and even if I have to suffer setbacks and deaths, I ultimately win.
I've joined a gym and will be going 30-60 minutes per night during the school year, weight training, cardio/fat burning, or a combo.
I may have some liver issues going on, so I have stopped eating all fast food but veggie subs from subway. I've also quit most caffeine and all alcohol. Getting an ultrasound on the liver sometime in the near future.
Reorienting myself toward priorities: Dad, the kids, the animals, the community I work in, and some healthy activities mixed with other low-stakes activities like watching and writing about movies, watching sports, and reading. Still want to learn to crochet, so we will see, but it's not at the top of my to do list. My to do list is short and starts with a bit of perspective on what human beings really are, what America really is, and learning to cope with constant disappointment, voting for and being lead by people I mostly despise, and eventually emerge with some level of OK-ness.