I'd like both, companionship and family. I'm introverted and would need my space. That said, between ages, say 22-35, I was in a variety of different types of relationships, like a lot and for varying spans of time, and with some really fantastic women who accepted both my need for alone time (at least in concept, some of them struggled with the reality) and my mental health conditions.. I CINECAST!ed up 90% of them. If I had the mindset then of not expecting too much from someone, not overpromising, and working overtime on my mental health, I'd probably be married with 2-3 children right now. I often blame it all on the bipolar and GAD, but to be honest, the forms I have are moderate-at-worst and if I were more cognizant of my mood day-to-day, they're not a good excuse. Or are they? It's something I struggle with. I don't even know if I would've been happier married and with children. Maybe it'd be terrible.
Ages 35-38 have been a terrible dry spell where I've lost interest in romance, sex, whatever. It's weird because I moved from a small place (Yuma) to a largely populated area in Phoenix, but I had so much more luck just dating, hooking up, etc. over there. The pandemic has been so extreme with the social isolation that I think I want to go out more and spend time with people and just see if a relationship sparks up spontaneously as it always had when I was more social and had more friends. I'm starting to build up a base of friends here, though they are all dudes right now, so maybe I can steer is in the route of going out more (as opposed to hours-long Smash Bros. Ultimate fests every Friday).