An Open Letter to ...

[lise]

Dear Brain,

Can you please turn off so I can go to sleep.

Thanks,

Lise

[ˇKeith!]

Dear YouTube Insight,

You are now how I measure my worth.

Forever Yours,
K

[St. Martin the Bald]

Dear Fat,

Begone from me. You are nothing butt trouble ab I can't have you in my life.

Love (handles)

Marty

[winrit]

Dear pix and M,

Cheese puns are the only puns that make the grate.

Fonduely yours,

A

[St. Martin the Bald]

Dear Acid Reflux,

I ate a suasage buiscuit today and of course I thought of you.
How can I feel this way when you have brought nothing but pain into my life?
Deep in my gut - I still burn for you.

We belong together,

~M

[winrit]

Dear M,

I love you. Let's never fight again.

My heart burns for only you,

Acid Reflux

[ˇKeith!]

Dear Acid Reflux,

I've never heard of you.  I don't know who your are or why you are such a tumultuous part of the lives of others but I am happy for never having met you. I feel special. You also seem to bring out a strange punnyness in otherwise normal people. Please continue your trajectory and leave me alone.  I feel as though I am missing nothing.  It is much more awesomer that way.

Sincerely-

Feelin Fine

[Basil]

Dear pizza,

Don't taunt me.

Sincerely,

Basil

[facedad]

Dear mold,

I hate you and so do my antibodies. Go away.

Sincerely,

Face

[J5er]

Hello,
Please stop making me not act like myself and completely screw up my thought process.  I thought I knew what I wanted, and how I wanted to live my life, then you came along and it all is f*cked up.  I want to talk to you, but I know that's not a good idea on so many levels.  What I hate is that with you gone like this, I haven't just gotten rid of the issue, I've also gotten rid of a friend.
Sooner rather than later?

Best wishes,

Mr. Ordinary Day