Dear Brewers,
Please don't move above a .500 record on the road. Because then I'd have to really, truly believe in you, and watch all your games, and read every article about you, and I so don't have time for that.
Respectfully,
pixote
P.S. I believe all these issues can be resolved by activating Eric Gagne from the DL and returning him to the closer's role. Please get right on that.