Author Topic: An Open Letter to ...  (Read 159850 times)

alexarch

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Re: An Open Letter to ...
« Reply #560 on: March 09, 2009, 04:50:58 PM »
Dear Digestive System,

It was fun at first. You kept me home reading for two days. I vomited like a fire hydrant opened in the Bronx on a hot summer day. I got to sleep on the couch with sheets and blankets from the spare bedroom like I was twelve again. You know, laughs.

But now it's getting old. I'd really love to eat a spicy or rich food again without fear of shitting myself. I would love for you to stop moaning pathetically in the middle of business meetings.

Straighten up, mister. You're trying my paitence.

Sincerely,
Alex

That was nearly poetry.

when alex speaks of matters colo-rectal he really flows.
Such things should always be entertaining. And flowing.

thatguy_sam

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Re: An Open Letter to ...
« Reply #561 on: March 10, 2009, 04:06:08 PM »
Dear Digestive System,

It was fun at first. You kept me home reading for two days. I vomited like a fire hydrant opened in the Bronx on a hot summer day. I got to sleep on the couch with sheets and blankets from the spare bedroom like I was twelve again. You know, laughs.

But now it's getting old. I'd really love to eat a spicy or rich food again without fear of shitting myself. I would love for you to stop moaning pathetically in the middle of business meetings.

Straighten up, mister. You're trying my paitence.

Sincerely,
Alex

That was nearly poetry.

when alex speaks of matters colo-rectal he really flows.
Such things should always be entertaining. And flowing.

i feel your pain alexarch, and at this very moment share it.
excuse me while i go vomit
"How'd you like that one, tough guy? How fricking awesome was that, huh? " - Chev Chelios - Crank

alexarch

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Re: An Open Letter to ...
« Reply #562 on: March 10, 2009, 04:07:53 PM »
Dear Digestive System,

It was fun at first. You kept me home reading for two days. I vomited like a fire hydrant opened in the Bronx on a hot summer day. I got to sleep on the couch with sheets and blankets from the spare bedroom like I was twelve again. You know, laughs.

But now it's getting old. I'd really love to eat a spicy or rich food again without fear of shitting myself. I would love for you to stop moaning pathetically in the middle of business meetings.

Straighten up, mister. You're trying my paitence.

Sincerely,
Alex

That was nearly poetry.

when alex speaks of matters colo-rectal he really flows.
Such things should always be entertaining. And flowing.

i feel your pain alexarch, and at this very moment share it.
excuse me while i go vomit
I love that very relaxed feeling I get after a really violent vomit. (I don't love that very repulsed feeling I get after you violently vomit on me.)
« Last Edit: March 10, 2009, 04:23:28 PM by alexarch »

oneaprilday

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Re: An Open Letter to ...
« Reply #563 on: March 10, 2009, 04:16:45 PM »
I love that very relaxed feeling you get after a really violent vomit.

You're using "you" in a very willy-nilly fashion.  ;)   There's vomiting and then there's vomiting.

alexarch

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Re: An Open Letter to ...
« Reply #564 on: March 10, 2009, 04:23:54 PM »
Better?

'Noke

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Re: An Open Letter to ...
« Reply #565 on: March 10, 2009, 04:32:42 PM »
Better?

with this letter and elephant combined, I'm not going to feel good for daysss.
I actually consider a lot of movies to be life-changing! I take them to my heart and they melt into my personality.

thatguy_sam

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Re: An Open Letter to ...
« Reply #566 on: March 10, 2009, 04:36:34 PM »
ah yes the few moments after a violent vomit session before the need to chunder once again hits, those are the moments of enlightenment
"How'd you like that one, tough guy? How fricking awesome was that, huh? " - Chev Chelios - Crank

oneaprilday

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Re: An Open Letter to ...
« Reply #567 on: March 10, 2009, 05:39:48 PM »

St. Martin the Bald

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Re: An Open Letter to ...
« Reply #568 on: March 11, 2009, 10:04:31 AM »
Dear Love Handles,

Who invited you to my party?

~M
Hey, nice marmot!

ses

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Re: An Open Letter to ...
« Reply #569 on: March 11, 2009, 06:15:40 PM »
Dear Love Handles,

Who invited you to my party?

~M

Must have been Dr. Saddlebags.
"It's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart"

http://sarahskitchenadventures.blogspot.com/