Dear John Cusack,
It is over between us. OVER.
You know how much I loved you. How much I was always there for you. Heck, for years I have carried that
Better Off Dead torch for you. I recommended it to people every chance I got, because it's such a beautiful sublime noir comedy that everyone should see. But the most important point here is that I have always felt that that movie was rock-solid evidence that you had integrity and brains.
The years have passed, Cusack. And the cred that you had with me has been eroding. Once upon a time I knew that if you were in a movie it was gonna be goooood. But those days are gone, aren't they? Just be a man and admit that they're gone. America's Sweethearts? Serendipity? Must Love Dogs? The Runaway Jury? War, Inc.? When I was given this proof that you were straying I thought back to what we'd had when we were just teenagers and I still held on.
But then-- lo, and behold-- I read this yesterday. Lord help me but I am still in shock:
Steve Holland: So we're all watching the Better Off Dead screening that night, and John walked out of the movie. About 20 minutes into it, he walked out, and he never came back.
The next morning, he basically walked up to me and was like, "You know, you tricked me. Better Off Dead was the worst thing I have ever seen. I will never trust you as a director ever again, so don't speak to me."
DS: Are you kidding?!
Steve Holland: No, it was that bad. He was just really upset. And I said, "What happened?! What's wrong?!" And he just said that I sucked, and it was the worst thing he had ever seen, and that I had used him, and made a fool out of him, and all this other stuff.
And I was just stunned, because it was as funny as shit. And he was great in it. And he was helping me edit it throughout the summer.
DS: How did that affect you?
Steve Holland: It made me not care about movies anymore. And I didn't even want to do One Crazy Summer at that point. I was just gone. It was sort of like the break-up that I made Better Off Dead about. It was so out of left field, that it just floored me.
And I told John, look, "I have this scene, you're in it. Do what you want to do. But this is what it says and you can do whatever you want." And then some reviews started coming out about Better Off Dead while we were still shooting One Crazy Summer. And people were writing giant stories about what a great, funny movie it was. It previewed in Rhode Island, and someone write a 3 page newspaper story about how funny it was, and one of the grips tacked it on John's door. So he started to lighten up. And Bob Goldthwait is really funny, and he brought a lot of levity to all of it, too. And started to tease John for being so cranky. But, you know, John doesn't want to be "foolish" I guess? He's more serious than we think, I guess.
I feel like I let him down. And it totally surprises me so much because I have to say the most important person to me about that movie, was John. I really wanted him to love it as much as I loved it. And once he said that stuff, it was like a girlfriend who breaks up with you. You can't fight with her. It's like everything is so great, and then they say "I hate you!" out of nowhere. There's really no argument you can have. I had my heart broken. That was the second time my heart was broken since that girl that Better Off Dead was about, honest to God.
It made me think, "What's this business about? It's no fun." But, I will say that Better Off Dead was the happiest time of my life without a doubt.The whole interview is on
www.thesneeze.com, you mangy cur.
So come to find out, you hated the best thing in your life. I don't know what I ever saw in you, Cusack. You broke that director's heart, and, I gotta say, mine too.
If 2012 sucks--- if I can watch that movie and
hear you cashing a paycheck-- I don't ever want to see you again. I want full custody of Say Anything, Grosse Point, and Better Off Dead. And you need to make an apology to Steve Holland.
OmNom