I want to live in a world where there is a place for both yummy fruit-topped frozen yogurt and ridiculously overpriced ice cream.
Not me. I want Pinkberry dead. I want Yogurteria dead. I want I Can't Believe It's Yogurt dead. I want anyone who enjoys any of that shit dead. I want their intestines pulled out of their bodies through their belly buttons and dried on coat hangers. Frozen yogurt is an offense to God.
Good thing there's no god and therefore nothing to offend! Haha! Am I right, guys??
Obviously I was referring to the Judeo-Christian God. Siva, Odin and Diana are all on board. (Strangely, Artemis, Diana's Greek equivalent, makes a distinction between pre-millennial and post-millennial frozen yogurt shops. She's a-okay with I Can't Believe It's Yogurt and TCBY, but will soon turn the CEO of Pinkberry into a hairless mole.)