Dear Forums,
I've been neglectful, but you know I do it all in love. Not steamy passion, love. Not lust, love. Not wanton acts of disregard for our mental and physical future. For love. But I'll be back real soon, so keep the tub warm, keep the candles burnin', and always, always, always keep the bottles frosty. Those aren't your tears running down your face at night, they are me smearing up your mascara.
From behind the steamed mirror,
FLYmeatwad