Aww, shucks, meatwad! I missed you guys, too. Sorry it's been so long, my life kind of went off in a different direction and decided not to tell me about it, so I've been playing catch-up. This is all positive change, though, so don't worry!
So what have I been missing? What's the new gossip? Who does Alex hate this week?
And yes, I am masticating more furiously than ever these days.