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Author Topic: April Movie Dictator Club write-ups  (Read 24851 times)

Emiliana

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April Movie Dictator Club write-ups
« on: April 05, 2009, 04:07:08 PM »


Warning: spoilers!!!

I would like to dedicate this review to my good friend Philipp, who has the worst taste in films of anyone I know (sorry dear, but you do), and whose immediate reaction to my whining about having to see The Happening was: "Cool, I wanted to see it anyway, so why don't you come over tomorrow, and we'll watch it together". So that's what I did, because I figured it would be best to just get this over with as soon as possible. I don't know if I could have made it through the film without someone by my side to watch it with me.

Ok, now: lotr-sam? This was really cruel of you. Throughout the film I was wondering how anyone could enjoy this film. My first thought was that you must have been drunk enough to find the awfulness of the film hilarious, but then I remembered that it was you who dictated it to me, and I really thought it could be the random shots of trees that we get throughout this film. Surprise, surprise, The Happening is actually a Terrence Malick film in disguise!

I just checked if you had written anything about the film around here, and you had:

I saw it opening day. Yes it was blighted with awful acting and a crappy script but I enjoyed it anyway. What really disappointed me wasn't the story but the lack of any visual style. Every other M. Night film has oozed with style but here it feels like he just grabbed a camera and the actors and shot the film without any regard for lighting, set design or color. It's one of the blandest films I've ever seen.

That being said I enjoyed seeing random people off themselves and thought the ending was good. There I said it. Now you can all hate me! :P
Turns out you didn't care for the visual side of the film at all - so all these gorgeous trees did nothing for you?? Heck, even I found the opening credits beautiful, where we get nothing but clouds in a blue sky for two whole minutes.

So what you did enjoy were all these people offing themselves. I'll grant you that I had never seen anything like this before, and that it was quite effective in creeping me out and creating a sense of dread as to the many ways people would come up with to kill themselves. There was no way that I (wuss that I am) was going to get any enjoyment out of that, though.

The first of these scenes involves a number of construction workers throwing themselves off a tall building - this scene was completely horrifying to me, and I would probably have turned off the movie then and there had I not watched it with my friend (and we hadn't even gotten to the parts of the film that are horrible because of the terrible script and bad acting!). So yeah, lots and lots of graphic ways to die after this point - hated every second of that.

Is there really a point for me to get into the bad script, bad filmmaking and bad acting? I don't know if I have the energy for that, but I'll try and make a few more points.

If I had had any hope to enjoy this film on some level, I thought it would come from watching Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel, two performers that I really like. No such luck. I felt that Wahlberg at least managed to pull off a mediocre performance, but Deschanel was completely dragged down to the level of crapitude of the material. One bad line-reading after another, it was painful to watch...

The one marginally good thing I can say about the film is that it was somewhat effective in building up a little suspense and creeping me out (even though I don't enjoy being creeped out as much as many others do). But I was then completely let down by the end of the film. The characters work their way towards a theory about what's causing the events, and that turns out to be the right one, so there is no big reveal at the end. I don't know what you, sam, mean exactly when you say you liked the ending. Was it that short final scene in Paris? I didn't like that at all, I thought it was a cheap trick that has been used hundreds of times before: "Phew, it is over. Or is it?"

Ok, I think that's enough. For the first time since I've been doing this MDC-thing, I'm not thanking my dictator at the end of my write-up, I'm just sitting here shaking my head, wondering how anyone can have enjoyed this total mess of a movie.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2009, 03:48:51 AM by Emiliana »

pixote

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Re: April Movie Dictator Club write-ups
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2009, 04:51:06 PM »
This is fun!  ;D

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Clovis8

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Re: April Movie Dictator Club write-ups
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2009, 05:49:09 PM »
Ok I have an official ADC and an unofficial one. First the official.

The Three Musketeers

**/****





Unfortunately, I did not like the movie very much. It is certainly not bad by any means, rather it is innocuous. There is nothing to be really excited about and nothing offensive. I liked Oliver Platt, however the rest of the actors were only ok. I really dislike Chris O'Odonnel. He is too "boy next door". I am not much for the sword fighting genre so I cant say much about that aspect of the film. Overall, I would say this is an ok movie and about what I would expect from a Disney adaptation.  Moderately entertaining and not offensive. Sorry Emiliana :(


On the plus side....


Emiliana also suggested I watch this;

10 Things I Hate About You

***/****



I have been curious about this movie for some time, knowing that it was loosely based on The Taming of the Shrew. As some of you may know I am a bit of a Shakespeare fanatic!

I loved this movie more than I think I should have. It is now on my own guilty pleasure list.

One of the first scenes has Allison Janney whom I love, so I knew I was going to be ok.



She plays a small part but it is hilarious. She is a fowl-mouthed guidance councilor who is writing an erotica novel. I loved all her scenes. It also stars Julia Stiles, who I think is woefully underemployed in Hollywood, and Heath Ledger, reminding us how charismatic he really was. The plot is simple. Boy likes girl, girls father wont let her date unless her older sister dates too. Older sister hates boys. Boy pays guy to date older sister. All fall in love.

It is VERY loosely based on The Taming of the Shrew. There are many Shakespeare references. Characters first and last names come from Shakespeare and there is even a girl who is in love with him. It all made for nice touches.

I loved the final scene where a poem is read in front of the class. It is SO awful, but so true to the poetry of high schoolers. I laughed so hard. It is also a decent love story with great chemistry among the leads.

Thanks for finally making me watch this Emiliana! :D
« Last Edit: April 05, 2009, 05:51:47 PM by Clovis8 »

Emiliana

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Re: April Movie Dictator Club write-ups
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2009, 05:59:36 PM »
Ok, now I finally know, teenage nostalgia is the only reason I love The Three Musketeers so much. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it more. But I am relieved that you decided to give 10 Things a shot as well, and that at least this one worked for you. Thanks for watching and reporting back!

Sam the Cinema Snob

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Re: April Movie Dictator Club write-ups
« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2009, 06:13:39 PM »
Turns out you didn't care for the visual side of the film at all - so all these gorgeous trees did nothing for you?? Heck, even I found the opening credits beautiful, where we get nothing but clouds in a blue sky for two whole minutes.
The bland visual style just turned me off to all of that stuff. Besides, I don't approve of the vilifying of trees.

The only scene I actually thought was beautiful was the gun scene shot from the knees down. The sadist inside me wept with joy.

Clovis8

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Re: April Movie Dictator Club write-ups
« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2009, 08:27:23 PM »
The Happening is actually a Terrence Malick film in disguise!



Except its better than TTRL!




Ok probably not but I could not resist :D . I have never, and probably will never, see The Happening.

FLYmeatwad

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Re: April Movie Dictator Club write-ups
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2009, 10:35:20 AM »
The Happening is actually a Terrence Malick film in disguise!



Except its better than TTRL!




Ok probably not but I could not resist :D . I have never, and probably will never, see The Happening.

This has been noted.

Sam the Cinema Snob

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Re: April Movie Dictator Club write-ups
« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2009, 01:29:56 PM »
I have never, and probably will never, see The Happening.
That's a shame because you'd probably like it given your dislike of great films.  :P

Konnel

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Re: April Movie Dictator Club write-ups
« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2009, 01:38:32 PM »
Just finished the review of FLYmeatwad's dictate, Hannah Montana/Miley Cirus: Best Of Both Worlds Concert Tour. No surprises, it was pretty awful. However, I did put some effort into the review which is posted on my blog:

Hannah Montana/Miley Cirus: Best Of Both Worlds Concert Tour

Here's a snippet, just to prove i did watch and review the damn thing:

The film intercuts the performance sets with some backstage/mini-docs in the appropriate moments, but instead of providing contrast with the live performance it’s really just tries to extend the running time (which is only 82 minutes, as reported by INDb). I should go back and time the doc footage but, nope don’t think it’s gonna happen. Having said that, after the opening number the film gives a glimpse into how a tour is put together which, while readily available on just about any other concert film, is kind of interesting for those who care to know such things. Having a pretty good handle on how it’s done I generally feel it breaks down the illusion but that is, again, a rather subjective opinion.

The film’s structure is based on the Disney show’s protagonist being a normal child during the day and a rock star at night. There is some tension inherent in a character living two separate lives (this is as I understand the show’s premise, though I could be off a bit never having seen it), and The Best of Both Worlds could have capitalized on that but didn’t, opting for a purely presentational piece. There are no set changes on the stage, no lighting changes, the music is substantively the same, and the costuming offers nothing to visually define either character (although the comically short and poofy bumble-bee skirt with it’s guppy-shit green corset top might have). Basically, the film is a collection of songs which might itself be fine except (aside from the prior criticism of the music) the sound sucks and I cycled through every DSP i have (on my DVD player - didn’t feel like loading the film into my computer).

it'd be nice if someone took one for the team and visited the site and let me know if the format works for reviews. Also, I'd like to do this for future reviews if everyone doesn't mind me posting links. thnx

K
« Last Edit: April 08, 2009, 01:51:46 PM by Konnel »

Konnel

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Re: April Movie Dictator Club write-ups
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2009, 01:47:35 PM »


Ok, I think that's enough. For the first time since I've been doing this MDC-thing, I'm not thanking my dictator at the end of my write-up, I'm just sitting here shaking my head, wondering how anyone can have enjoyed this total mess of a movie.

OK Now I have to see this movie! With the SOLE exception of The Sixth Sense I think every M. Night Shyamalan movie that I have had to sit through to be a complete waste of film. To the point where i want my time back, and sincerely regret the heat generated in projecting the movie - in fact, i think someone should do a M. Night Shyamalan calculator that tallies up the time left until all matter has been converted to heat based on the run time of his movies. You know, 18 "Lady in the Water" 's remaining - last person please turn off the DVD player.

But Emiliana, though i am almost as tired of hearing about how bad The Happening is as I am of the first 10 minutes of M. Night Shyamalan's masturbatory relfections on Unbreakable's commentary track you have motivated me to sit through this one because I trust your eye. I shall gird myself and look into the eye of hell.

K

 

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