Author Topic: Five fascinating things you don't know about me  (Read 85372 times)

ses

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Re: Five fascinating things you don't know about me
« Reply #470 on: September 13, 2011, 12:15:54 PM »
Thought we should bump this thread.  We have some great new members who I am sure would love to read this or contribute to this topic as well.
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Lobby

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Re: Five fascinating things you don't know about me
« Reply #471 on: September 13, 2011, 03:00:53 PM »
This thread is fascinating and very moving.

I think I've shared quite a lot of personal things already, sprinkling most of my reviews with such elements. But I'll see if I can open a few more windows that I've kept closed so far.

1. I got married when I was 18, shortly after I had left home to live with my to-be husband 700 km away. It was raining and we had one friend as a witness. Afterwards we celebrated eating potato soup, drinking one bottle of red wine. I informed my mother about the whole thing sending her a postcard with the text: "I've got married. Guess with who!".
While getting married that young isn't anything I recommend, and I definitely wouldn't like to see my daughters do the same thing, I still don't thing weddings need to be mega sized to count or matter.

2. My mother comes from a nobel family, but married with an non-nobel (with JEWISH anscestors, the HORROR), so her name was taken out of the book of nobels. Not that she minded. She hated everything it stood for. I have no fortune, nothing to show for those origins. It makes for some pretty fun genealogy though. For instance one of my anscestors, about five generations back if I count it right, was one of the wealthiest women in Sweden. This was around 1900. But she donated everything to the government so they could make a museum out of it, including some massive collections of all sorts of stuff you wouldn't believe. She even put children's drawings into her catalogues, side by side with precious art and jewelery. A portrait of my grandfather as a child hangs on the wall in the museum. He looks exactly like my sisterson. It fascinates me.

3. When I was about 14 I played in a rock band. I was recruited to sing, I think. Becoming a new Blondie, a siouxi or something like that. I think that was the idea. But I was pretty crap at it, so I became a bass player instead. The project took a quick stop when someone broke into our repetition room and stole all instruments. So we put it down. But I kept hanging around with a couple of the players in the band and some others. Then one night the gf of one of the band members, who I had thought was my closest friend, followed me a for a bit on my way home. She told me that she was sorry but she couldn't spend time with me anymore. She told me that everyone else in the band and the gang hated me and talked behind my back all the time. She had to chose between me or her bf.
I've never been more alone and miserable in my entire life than when I walked home that night. And I couldn't tell anyone, particularly not my parents, because we didn't have that kind of relationship at all.
I think that night changed me a bit. It's written into my mind and it's connected to the fact that I deep down never trust anyone completely, that I'm really bad at making close friends and that I always have the nagging thought that people really don't like me, even if they say they do.

4. My mother is an alcoholist. She's sober since a few years. Me and my sister and brother did an intervention nine years ago and had her go to an AA 12 step program oriented treatment center for a month. As a part of her rehabilitation I too was treated for co-dependency, going through a one-week program. One week of group therapy that forever changed my view on addicts as well as on myself. My mother relapsed not once but several times. It wasn't until she started to take medications that she could stay sober.
My grandmother was also an alcoholist. It's scary to carry this heritage.

5. When I was 17 years old I travelled on my own in France for one month. Most of the time I went by train but when I arrived at Chamonix after the sunset, tired and uncertain of the way to the youth hostel, I hitch hiked (which was something I had done quite a bit in my life before, but usually in company with friends). Or rather I didn't actively hitch hike, even if I planned to, but I accepted when a guy stopped with his car and said I looked lost, offering me a ride to the hostel. He didn't drive to the hostel. I was too tired to notice, but he headed out in the wilderness instead. And then he spoke to me and showed me what he was doing to himself (wildly masturbating, while driving) and asked me: "do you like this?". I panicked. I've never been more scared in my entire life. I begged for my life, I pleaded him to stop the car and finally he did and I slipped out in the nothingness and he turned the car and went back to the village and I saw him laughing at me and I had lost all my words. What worse was I think I lost a bit of my sexuality that day. Something broke that couldn't be repaired.


And this turned out to be a very sad list of facts towards the end. More depressing than fascinating. Sorry about that. But the spirit of honesty in this thread inspired me. And maybe it helps someone who's been into similar situations to read about it. You're not alone. We're not alone. Even if it feels as if we are.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2011, 03:07:49 PM by Lobby »
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Junior

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Re: Five fascinating things you don't know about me
« Reply #472 on: September 13, 2011, 03:04:39 PM »
Whoa, there's some intense stuff there. Sucks that you had to go through all of that. If it is any consolation I think you're pretty damn awesome.
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Bondo

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Re: Five fascinating things you don't know about me
« Reply #473 on: September 13, 2011, 03:21:25 PM »
I still don't thing weddings need to be mega sized to count or matter.

I'm split on this, I'm not big on expensive to-dos, on the other hand (and apologies for how this is coming in contrast to one of your later points) I have seen some appeal in a bigger wedding ceremony just as an excuse to have a couple days of parties with a bunch of my friends from around the country who might not otherwise get together. I also have to say wedding rings are a bit iffy IMO, theoretically huge expense for a piece of jewelry meant to signify being "kept" by someone else. But I doubt I'll get married anyway so these are probably idle thoughts.

Sorry to hear about the other more tragic aspects. I have a friend who had an addiction issue and it is definitely tough. I'm thankful that I don't seem to be so inclined. I had vicodin/oxycontin when I had a knee injury/surgery and though they were "nice" I never dealt with any kind of withdraw.


I was looking back at my previous list and realized it was before I was properly diagnosed with Asperger's. I've mentioned it on here before so some people know it. It's been a big relief I think having the diagnosis. I'm not sure how much it will directly improve my life to know but it changes how I think about my struggles and makes me feel less like a failure and more like someone who just has challenges to work against.

Another somewhat fun one:
8. In fifth grade we had sex education which included being able to anonymously submit questions for the guidance counselors. My question was basically asking, with concern, about whether my voice would drop. I wasn't asking because I was worried about my voice not dropping and being left behind or anything. I was worried about losing my high singing range. This makes perfect sense in hindsight. And I have a fabulous falsetto.

Lobby

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Re: Five fascinating things you don't know about me
« Reply #474 on: September 13, 2011, 03:31:32 PM »

I'm split on this, I'm not big on expensive to-dos, on the other hand (and apologies for how this is coming in contrast to one of your later points) I have seen some appeal in a bigger wedding ceremony just as an excuse to have a couple days of parties with a bunch of my friends from around the country who might not otherwise get together.

No need to aplogise! I can see the value to of having a real wedding, my point is more that it's not mandatory. I don't think it lies in the size of the wedding how long you'll stay married. I hope my children will decide to have "real" weddings one day, although not the silly big styel like in Bridesmaids. But just a big party, because when you grow up you realize that you mostly see your relatives at funerals and that's quite depressing. It's good to get together for good reasons and a wedding is an excuse for that.

You mention Asberger. I've always thought that my father had a hint of it. My mother agrees on this too (he died ten years ago). He was crazily intellingent. Mensa requirements were peanuts for him. But he never ever managed to communicate with his children, never got close. There was something... different. Can't quite explain it. Sometimes I wonder if this difference is also something that runs in my veins. I don't know.

And I have a fabulous falsetto.

That's just an adorable fact about you. For some reason it makes you like you even more.
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AAAutin

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Re: Five fascinating things you don't know about me
« Reply #475 on: September 13, 2011, 05:59:57 PM »
It's written into my mind and it's connected to the fact that I deep down never trust anyone completely, that I'm really bad at making close friends and that I always have the nagging thought that people really don't like me, even if they say they do.

I hear ya, sister.

Antares

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Re: Five fascinating things you don't know about me
« Reply #476 on: September 13, 2011, 09:52:59 PM »
1. I was given the last rites as a 9 month old infant when I contracted whooping cough. A few days prior to becoming infected by it, my aunt had taken me outside at my grandmother's house and let me crawl on the ground. I was a rather fast crawler for an infant, and I crawled into the woods that abutted her property. When my aunt caught up with me, I was in a patch of poison ivy. Over the next few days, as the whooping cough took its toll on my body, I was covered over 80% of my body with poison ivy rash. The whooping cough had raised my temperature to 104 degrees and the itching of the rash wouldn't let me sleep. My mother told me that the doctors said it was a miracle that I survived it. To this day, I can rub poison ivy all over me and nothing happens.

2. My blood type is O-, CMV-, which is in less than 2% of the population. Because of this, when I donate blood, it is given to premature babies, infants or burn victims. I have donated over 15 gallons in my lifetime.

3. Three times in the last 10 years, I have willed a dream I was experiencing to go in a direction of my choosing. All three times, I realized during the dream, that it wasn't real and that I was in fact, having a dream. The first two times, I was in a cemetery that I used to cross to get to my friend's house. The third time, I was in front of a building where I played little league. I focused on making my body fly above the landscape that was in my mind's eye at the moment. The first time, it only lasted for a few seconds, as if my brain realized that I wasn't suppose to be able to do this, and I fought to keep from waking up. By the third time, it felt like I was controlling the dream for at least 45 seconds. That last time was over 5 years ago, and I haven't had it happen since.

4. I have a partial photographic memory. This was very helpful in high school. All my friends and the other kids in school would study for lengthy periods of time for an exam, and I would glance over my notes twenty minutes before the test and I'd ace it. As I've gotten older, this ability has diminished. But I still can see pages of my old notebooks or images from books I read over 35 years ago from time to time.

5. When I was a child, I sang in the church choir. I had a clear soprano voice and the priest in my parish had me sing solos from time to time. One day when I was 10 years old, two kids who had just transferred to my class started laughing during one of these solos, and I froze on the spot. I became so shaken by this, that I couldn't sing in front of people anymore. The priest made the two kid's lives a living hell for the next few years because of what they did. Only one time in the last forty years have I been able to sing in front of people, and that only happened because I was extremely coked out at a party back in the late 80's. There was a guy sitting alone and playing guitar on the deck of my friend's house and I sat beside him while he played. He started to sing a Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young song and I joined in. He kept playing songs and slowly, he stopped singing and left me singing solo. He played about six or seven songs and suddenly I caught his eye looking at something behind me, and when I turned around, there were over twenty people listening to me. The old fear came back and I froze again, and haven't sang since.
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Sandy

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Re: Five fascinating things you don't know about me
« Reply #477 on: September 13, 2011, 11:00:20 PM »
It's written into my mind and it's connected to the fact that I deep down never trust anyone completely, that I'm really bad at making close friends and that I always have the nagging thought that people really don't like me, even if they say they do.

I hear ya, sister.

Lobby and AAAutin--my amazing internet friends! This is easy friendship though, as it is on our own terms. It has less pitfalls that way. Thanks for sharing.

Bondo and Antares, I wish I could hear you sing.

Lobby

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Re: Five fascinating things you don't know about me
« Reply #478 on: September 14, 2011, 04:00:03 AM »
The old fear came back and I froze again, and haven't sang since.

That story makes me so incredibly sad. The scars we get as children go so deep and are so hard to get over.
 :(
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smirnoff

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Re: Five fascinating things you don't know about me
« Reply #479 on: September 14, 2011, 02:49:44 PM »
1. I was given the last rites as a 9 month old infant when I contracted whooping cough. A few days prior to becoming infected by it, my aunt had taken me outside at my grandmother's house and let me crawl on the ground. I was a rather fast crawler for an infant, and I crawled into the woods that abutted her property. When my aunt caught up with me, I was in a patch of poison ivy. Over the next few days, as the whooping cough took its toll on my body, I was covered over 80% of my body with poison ivy rash. The whooping cough had raised my temperature to 104 degrees and the itching of the rash wouldn't let me sleep. My mother told me that the doctors said it was a miracle that I survived it. To this day, I can rub poison ivy all over me and nothing happens.

This is sooo awesome. Dude, it's like the origin story for a superhero! Villains beware! :D

 

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