Author Topic: Ladies & Gentlemen (Manners)  (Read 7022 times)

jdc

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Re: Ladies & Gentlemen (Manners)
« Reply #20 on: May 26, 2011, 05:56:35 AM »
I refused to quote anything out of context from the "Life" thread...like a gentleman.

Hey wait, where is the "life" thread?  (I am suppose to be avoiding here and the internet in general the next two weeks but I am still at the airport so I will start later.
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FLYmeatwad

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Re: Ladies & Gentlemen (Manners)
« Reply #21 on: May 26, 2011, 05:58:36 PM »
Pay attention I'm stabbing your women friends, like a gentlemen.

1SO

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Re: Ladies & Gentlemen (Manners)
« Reply #22 on: October 23, 2014, 12:20:18 AM »
Looking for a good thread to revive for this. May have more to do with social interaction than manners, but since I often do this wrong...

It starts with a post from ses under What Are You Doing?
I'm still a bit confused at the encounter I had at Target today.  I was walking out of the bathroom and someone was walking in at the same time.  I said "Oh, excuse me." and she said "Nope" and continued into the bathroom.  Nope?  How weird was that?  Nope, you aren't excused for trying to exit the bathroom at the same time I was trying to enter?  Beats me.

This was my response.
Last week I pushed open a door to exit. A woman quickly walked through the narrow gap between the door and me (ducking under my arm.) Even stranger, she then tried to close the door behind her as she passed. It's like I was invisible and the door opened automatically for her.


My intention when writing it was to throw in with ses' confusion over the rudeness of people concerning door etiquette. I'm piggybacking on her point with a similar recent incident. However, after writing it I wondered if it came off like I was hijacking her post. Instead of responding directly to what ses wrote or acknowledging it, I turn the conversation spotlight onto me. Is that how it reads? Is there a better, more polite or respectful way I should have entered so as not to give the impression I was looking to turn the thread in my direction?

Bondo

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Re: Ladies & Gentlemen (Manners)
« Reply #23 on: October 23, 2014, 12:32:01 AM »
Well, if you buy into very gendered notions of conversation (Men are from Mars and that jazz), you actually exhibited an aware, feminine response. The male approach would be to try to "solve the problem" which keeps the focus on her, but may not respect what she's actually going for. The female approach would be to offer a similar narrative to signal that she relates to the story.

Now, I am NOT buying into the gendered aspect of this discussion, but suggesting that relating a similar story of door awkwardness isn't about story topping or egotistical redirection, but actually an act of empathy and social acuity. Though I'm sure context is key here and there are ways to do it that make it the one and ways that make it the other, and I definitely don't have the social skills to know which is which.

ses

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Re: Ladies & Gentlemen (Manners)
« Reply #24 on: October 23, 2014, 09:57:01 AM »
I didn't take it as hijacking my post.  My first reaction at reading it was "man, why are people so weird and oblivious to other's actions".  I saw your response as acknowledging mine by you comparing your own experience.  I could, however, see how someone could take it that way, as you hijacking the post, and it says something that you are aware of that, but that's not how I viewed it.

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pixote

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Re: Ladies & Gentlemen (Manners)
« Reply #25 on: October 23, 2014, 01:27:51 PM »
I have friends who are too narcissistic to carry on a conversation with:

Me: "I went to the story today, and this kid knocked over a whole stack of cereal boxes. I went to help him pick them all up, and--"

Friend: "Oh yeah, I need to go to the store. I was going to go before work, but I was running late. Maybe I'll go before dinner. There are like a billion things I need to buy... [continues for two more minutes]..."

pixote
I think I'd love how awkward it'd be, or how awkward it should be.

Sandy

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Re: Ladies & Gentlemen (Manners)
« Reply #26 on: October 23, 2014, 01:59:22 PM »
 :))

the worst!


...So when you helped him pick up the cereal, did you two build a castle with it? This is how I picture it in my mind.

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Junior

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Re: Ladies & Gentlemen (Manners)
« Reply #27 on: October 23, 2014, 02:16:41 PM »
Yeah, well I work with what I call a Topper. Anything you've done or had, she's done or had better (or worse). I've stopped trying to talk with her. The best is when she gets going with another, milder Topper. They can talk about themselves at each other for hours.

And yes, I understand that I just topped you. Apologies.
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ses

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Re: Ladies & Gentlemen (Manners)
« Reply #28 on: October 23, 2014, 02:30:12 PM »
I've never heard the phrase Topper, we call them One Uppers, but yeah, I know a few of those too.
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Jared

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Re: Ladies & Gentlemen (Manners)
« Reply #29 on: October 23, 2014, 04:04:15 PM »
Topper is my favorite Dilbert character.

http://search.dilbert.com/comic/Topper