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Author Topic: I just need to whimper  (Read 193873 times)

joker

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #340 on: October 29, 2010, 12:40:53 PM »
Somone go to town on me.  I don't want to work tomorrow.  It's my second job, and I make great money there, but I don't want to deal with the shit I deal with on a weekly basis there.

Seriously, go on about unemployment rates, foreclosures, and that I have a family... someone slap me straght, tell me to be a man, and stop my mother CINECAST!ing whinning.
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oldkid

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #341 on: October 30, 2010, 12:29:26 AM »
Nick-- you could always do MY job.

I get super long hours, many headaches, people complaining all the time, not enough help, and, for most people, it helps no one in the long term.  And I get no paycheck.  Most of the time I'm lucky to pay my basic bills.

However, I still can pay for Netflix, which kindly just sent me Winter Bone.  If I don't watch it tonight, it will happen tomorrow.

Anyway, Nick, suck it up.  At least you get a paycheck.
"It's not art unless it has the potential to be a disaster." Bansky

FLYmeatwad

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #342 on: October 30, 2010, 12:07:05 PM »
It may be a matter of circumstance, but you are the first people I am telling this to at present.

I am in the midst of having a mental breakdown. I come home every day torn apart, losing more self confidence and self worth by the day. I have gone beyond a point of stress in student teaching to developing a feeling of worthlessness, which has caused me great distress about my future. This is coupled with my finally facing the social deficiencies I have developed over the years, which have resulted in paranoia, constant anxiety, devout cynicism, and mild depression. I am going to be talking with my mom about this likely in an hour, but I need to start re-evaluating my life. I know what brings me joy, and I am being incredibly self centered in thinking that I have it bad by any means. But these feelings have weighed on my mind so much that I have started inadvertently causing physical pain to myself. Not directly, but I find myself unable to eat most days, I find full nights of sleep even harder to get, and there are days where I do not feel like going forward. I need serious retooling of my life, and reevaluation. I know I am not meant to teach, though I hardly know what I am meant to do, but it cannot be that, and I may feel like I am running away from life, life is shitty, but I need to do what is going to keep me healthy, I suppose.

I do not know if this means seeking self help, professional help, medical help, or more likely a combination of the three. I don't know if I'll be on here more or less. I'll get to dictations, but I can't keep doing what I'm doing, it's not healthy. I need a lot of work, and it will be a long road, but I feel I have squandered so many years of my life, and now that is beginning to negatively affect those around me, and I can't let that happen, and I can't continue to be who I am.

And I'm sorry, sorry to everyone.

ses

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #343 on: October 30, 2010, 01:38:47 PM »
I am sorry to hear this FLY, but you need to care of yourself first and foremost.  I hope you get the help you deserve.  And you are young, you may feel that you have squandered years of your life, but you have so much of your life left that there is plenty of time to change to do something with which you will be happy.  The point is, you are coming to this realization now, and you have enough self-awareness that you need to do something about it.  I wish you the best.  The forum will still be here when you feel better.  :)
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1SO

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #344 on: October 30, 2010, 01:55:38 PM »
I know what brings me joy,

This is good.  This is what you should focus on.  It'll be your new center to build a better life around.

Remember, you are the one and only FLY.  There will never be another.  And we're all here for you.

Beavermoose

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #345 on: October 30, 2010, 02:26:09 PM »
Learning to socialize is one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.
I also have these things you speak of: paranoia and anxiety; always afraid that people won't like me, always afraid I'll say the wrong thing. Its hard to deal sometimes and then I watch a movie or do something I like and it keeps me going. You just have to take it one step at a time.

In the words of the good but not great Christopher Nolan.

Batman - Why-()+Do._^We.F4LL... II
 ;)


Sam the Cinema Snob

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #346 on: October 30, 2010, 04:18:25 PM »
Do whatever you need to do to figure things out. We'll be here if/when you need us.  ;)

Bondo

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #347 on: October 30, 2010, 05:06:14 PM »
I do not know if this means seeking self help, professional help, medical help, or more likely a combination of the three.

I can vouch for this. One of the main things that stresses me is basically I get frustrated that the world can't meet me halfway vis a vis my social disabilities. I feel like all the jobs out there really want outgoing, social people and I'm not sure I can nor want to be that. But a therapist can do a lot to help push for ways to make small steps in the right direction.

And I guess a different way to put it is I had a bit of a breakdown around your age and have had a few since...but also in the interim I had a number of really awesome years, gained some great friends (who unfortunately are scattered to the ends of the country/earth), etc. It is a tricky world to find one's place so one has to take in stride that initial plans aren't going to hold all the time.

oldkid

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #348 on: October 30, 2010, 08:25:15 PM »
I do not know if this means seeking self help, professional help, medical help, or more likely a combination of the three.

I can vouch for this. One of the main things that stresses me is basically I get frustrated that the world can't meet me halfway vis a vis my social disabilities. I feel like all the jobs out there really want outgoing, social people and I'm not sure I can nor want to be that. But a therapist can do a lot to help push for ways to make small steps in the right direction.


On the more social professional side of things, I just want to emphasize that Bondo is right on here.  From what you were talking about, FLY, it sounds like you need to speak to a professional counselor and they can recommend to you who else you need to seek, if anyone.   

What you are feeling isn't the same as everyone, but it isn't abnormal, either.  You are unique, and that is a good thing.  You have unique things to offer the world.  There are times when you feel that the world doesn't want what you have to offer, or that the loneliness is hard to bear.  But there are others who appreciate you, or who WILL appreciate you.  In the mean time, you've got to keep on going, keep on trying, keep striving to make of life and yourself the best you can. 

Nothing worthwhile comes to pass unless we go through severe struggle and self doubt.  Just as the movies have taught us.  :)
"It's not art unless it has the potential to be a disaster." Bansky

oneaprilday

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #349 on: October 30, 2010, 08:57:55 PM »
Hang in there, FLY.