I have been in a long distance relationship for three and a half years. It's been exclusive the whole time. It can work.
jdc, I expect care-free and non-exclusive is the only way for an LDR to work. I tried having mine be neither and it didn't work out so well.
yes, we have sort of talked about that policy and the benefits of the freedom when dating somebody that works for the airlines. I think at the moment it is just the initial shock of falling for somebody so quickly and under messy circumstances only to have that person get a great offer a few weeks later that will have her move. Not that this is the end...
That's the thing about relationships; what works for some will fail for others. All we can do is try to negotiate something that works for both people. In my experience this type of situation would make monogamy very difficult but as Ses points out, perfectly fine for many people.
I think your chances of success might increase if you are willing to open up the relationship a little but that would entirely depend on the two of you and your comfort levels.
Yeah, I agree, I think it has to be about the right person at the right time. Probably at any other time in my life the long distance thing wouldn't have worked. But I know what I want and who I want it with and that person just happens to live 5 hours away from me, at this point. I know that is only temporary which helps. He is finishing his PhD, I am doing post-doctoral fellowship. Our jobs aren't permanent, and when we get through our necessary training, we are going to be in the same place. If that wasn't the case, I don't know if I could go my whole life like this. It is very hard. But like I said, I am not at the point in my life I used to be where I would be going out 5 nights a week and meeting people and whatnot. It's not my thing anymore. I am happy with who I am with, and that's what matters, not that he lives apart from me at this time. Plus, it's only 5 hours, so I see him 3 out of 4 weekends a month. We are very lucky, most people in long distance relationships don't get that. And I am so busy during the week that it makes it that less difficult.
Totoro - I don't know why what your friend is into would be a problem. Who cares? You probably have lots of friends that are into lots of stuff you don't know about. It's perfectly normal.