Author Topic: I just need to whimper  (Read 89121 times)

jim brown

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #740 on: November 08, 2011, 07:28:10 PM »
I'm very sorry to hear this, Totoro.

Hang in there.  Things are bound to look up.
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jdc

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #741 on: November 08, 2011, 07:38:29 PM »
Sorry to hear about all that. I can't really provide advice about the really heavy stuff, but I am pretty knowledgable about statistics so if you have any questions about that feel free to PM me and I'll see if I can find a way to talk about it that maybe the teacher or textbook haven't (I've had teachers and textbooks and thus know they aren't always useful enough).

The most I remember from my Statistics class was the professor always telling us if we encounter certain situations that we should "consult our local statistician."  I think he was getting kick backs.

I was finance major so I did well in that course but the first exam was one I never will forget.  We had for 4 weeks of him solving math equations on the board, all those standard things.  We all spent a lot of time doing homework solving standard deviations and all those standard things.  I thought I was very prepared for the exam, there was no question you could ask me that I wouldn't be able to solve the equation for... except... what it actually meant.

We got into the first exam and there wasn't one problem to solve.  Every question gave us the results and then just ask us what does it mean... most of the people bombed the first test as all we knew what to do was solve the equation.  I thought a bit of a cheat of him, but after that I stopped worrying about the math and learned what it actually means when you get to the answer.

Anyway, sorry for off topic, not much I can advise Totoro, I think Bondo's advise is good as far as where to turn to for help....


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oldkid

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #742 on: November 08, 2011, 10:14:03 PM »
That is awful, Totoro. 

As far as Stats go, Bondo is right, you need a tutor.  But that seems to be the least of your problems.

For your parents-- you need to wait and see what happens.  If there is physical abuse again, it is best to call a crisis line (not 911, but like a woman's crisis line) and ask for counsel.  Otherwise, wait.  If physical stuff hasn't happened in so long, a line has been drawn.  Something will change.  Their relationship may get worse, but what is more likely is that they will both rethink all that was said and done and try to work it out.

Do you have anyone who can help for your movies?  Another person who can act last minute?  Someone who can loan you a car?  Call in favors, ask for favors-- now's the time to ask for help.

It's no wonder you are anxious and depressed and upset.  You've got good reason for it.  If you can't sleep, watch a movie-- relax.  Do what you can to get your mind off of your stresses.  More anxious thought won't help you, and if you get your mind off of all this stuff you might be able to think about how you can get out of it.  Watch a movie you can laugh at.

And I'll pray for you.  It'll help, really.

"It's not art unless it has the potential to be a disaster." Bansky

Sandy

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #743 on: November 08, 2011, 10:28:39 PM »
I was going to write some stuff, but oldkid is the voice to listen to. Take good care.

Clovis8

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #744 on: November 08, 2011, 11:03:24 PM »


For your parents-- you need to wait and see what happens.  If there is physical abuse again, it is best to call a crisis line (not 911, but like a woman's crisis line) and ask for counsel.  Otherwise, wait.  If physical stuff hasn't happened in so long, a line has been drawn.  Something will change.  Their relationship may get worse, but what is more likely is that they will both rethink all that was said and done and try to work it out.



I have to disagree with OK here. Domestic violence should never be tolerated and certainly not multiple times. The fact that his mother is swearing him to secrecy is very concerning. My advice would be to contact 911 next time it happens and to also contact 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) the national domestic abuse crisis line.

It's a terrible situation for a young person to be in to be sure. I am sure things will work out in the end Totoro. Just remember that while right now it's incredibly tough, it will get better.

In 15 years when you have won your first Oscar this will be the "character building" part of your Biography episode.

Lobby

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #745 on: November 09, 2011, 01:29:21 AM »
There's so much I want to say but I'm in a place where I barely have an internet connection. For now just a quick *hug*

And make your priorities. Go into survival mode and focus on what's most important to you right now.
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pixote

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #746 on: November 09, 2011, 01:57:35 PM »
This is a rough thread to catch up on all at once. Hugs for everyone!!! (And a bear hug for jim brown.)

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Totoro

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #747 on: November 09, 2011, 06:09:13 PM »
That is awful, Totoro. 

As far as Stats go, Bondo is right, you need a tutor.  But that seems to be the least of your problems.

For your parents-- you need to wait and see what happens.  If there is physical abuse again, it is best to call a crisis line (not 911, but like a woman's crisis line) and ask for counsel.  Otherwise, wait.  If physical stuff hasn't happened in so long, a line has been drawn.  Something will change.  Their relationship may get worse, but what is more likely is that they will both rethink all that was said and done and try to work it out.

Do you have anyone who can help for your movies?  Another person who can act last minute?  Someone who can loan you a car?  Call in favors, ask for favors-- now's the time to ask for help.

It's no wonder you are anxious and depressed and upset.  You've got good reason for it.  If you can't sleep, watch a movie-- relax.  Do what you can to get your mind off of your stresses.  More anxious thought won't help you, and if you get your mind off of all this stuff you might be able to think about how you can get out of it.  Watch a movie you can laugh at.

And I'll pray for you.  It'll help, really.

Thanks for including me in your prayers. I really appreciate your advice, Oldkid. My mother told me to never call those lines (I wanted to) so it's good to hear that I should if it happens again. Luckily our professor gave us an extra week for the documentary. A movie did help. I think they'll continue to help.

Thanks, everybody. I was at the end of my rope last night. I contacted my personal friends, but they were equally clueless as I was.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2011, 06:11:52 PM by Totoro »

oldkid

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #748 on: November 09, 2011, 06:51:24 PM »
Good to hear that things are closer to being able for you to handle.  Hang in there!
"It's not art unless it has the potential to be a disaster." Bansky

ses

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Re: I just need to whimper
« Reply #749 on: November 09, 2011, 09:55:17 PM »
My thoughts are with Totoro.


I got in a car accident today.  It sucks, guy blew a red light.  Everyone is okay, but I am sore as can be on my left side.  What stinks is that my car isn't drivable now, and I have to borrow family's cars to get to work, and I can't drive to Chicago to see my boyfriend now.  It's hard, we have been doing this for 4 years now, and it never gets any easier.  In fact it gets harder.  We get barely any time together as it is, maybe 4 days a month if we are lucky.  It used to be more, but both of us are so busy with our research fellowships that there are times when we are working over the weekends.  I'm just really bummed and sore and irked that my car, that I just spent $518 getting repaired and tuned up, is now sidelined until a claims adjuster comes and looks at it.  Then who knows how long after that to get it fixed.


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