Author Topic: General Chatter  (Read 229232 times)

Totoro

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Re: General Chatter
« Reply #630 on: September 21, 2011, 01:26:52 AM »
My friend and I got into a huge argument today. After it all, I apologized for being rude and being a jerk. I owned up to everything. He replies to me pretty much like this, "While I accept your apology, I still think you're an immature and can't hold a conversation."

I responded by deleting then blocking him.

Am I right in doing this, filmspotting nation? We can all get mean and nasty to each other, but once someone apologizes, people should try their best to settle the dust. That's how I see it anyways.

Dave the Necrobumper

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Re: General Chatter
« Reply #631 on: September 21, 2011, 05:20:43 AM »
A sincere apology should be accepted, if it is not, clearly there are deeper issues and it is time to move on. Be open to revisiting the friendship, if the other puts in the effort, but otherwise be polite at random meetings and do not seek the person out.

AAAutin

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Re: General Chatter
« Reply #632 on: September 21, 2011, 05:37:58 AM »
I responded by deleting then blocking him.

Friendships so easily dismissed are not friendships worth having. However, if this is some sort of passive-aggressive ploy on your part, your "friend" is probably right in his characterization of you.

ferris

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Re: General Chatter
« Reply #633 on: September 21, 2011, 07:47:52 AM »
My friend and I got into a huge argument today. After it all, I apologized for being rude and being a jerk. I owned up to everything. He replies to me pretty much like this, "While I accept your apology, I still think you're an immature and can't hold a conversation."

I responded by deleting then blocking him.

Am I right in doing this, filmspotting nation? We can all get mean and nasty to each other, but once someone apologizes, people should try their best to settle the dust. That's how I see it anyways.

Hey Totoro...sorry to hear this .  That's always hard.  :-\

It would be unfair of me to try to make a judgement call based on just this.  It'd be too easy for me to fall on one side or the other based on recent interactions I've hard with peole in my life.  My advice is determine if this is person worth being friends with - only you can make that call ( and there is no right or wrong answer).  But either way - behave in a way that brings you the outcome you want, not in the way that satisfies a loose set of social interaction rules.  In my 150 or so years  on this planet I've yet to hear a good decision start with phrase "I shouldn't have to be the one...". 

Lastly - I'll leave you with something my Dad always said growing up, and it's mantra I live by:  "You can have it your way, or you can make everyone else happy.  You can't have both.  Decided which one you want then don't look back". 




« Last Edit: September 21, 2011, 07:58:11 AM by ferris »
"And if thou refuse to let them go, behold, I will smite all thy borders with frogs" - Exodus 8:2 KJV
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oldkid

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Re: General Chatter
« Reply #634 on: September 21, 2011, 08:49:11 AM »
I pretty much agree with the above.

Internet relationships are tough.  First, because people say things that they wouldn't normally say face to face.  Second, because it's so easy to switch on or off a relationship.  Think about your relationship with this person otherwise.  Are there positive things you like about being connected with him?  Balance it out-- is his refusal to apologize and to say something inappropriate in the heat of the moment worth blocking out the positive things?  Also think about what benefit you might be offering him, and put that in the mix. 

Typically, I have found that unless a person continues to be obnoxious over a period of time, it isn't worth cutting off a relationship.  And then, you never know, he may wake up today and regret what he said, and he needs the opportunity to make it up to you.  Whether that be an apology or another way of restoring the relationship.
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Totoro

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Re: General Chatter
« Reply #635 on: September 21, 2011, 02:57:31 PM »
My friend and I got into a huge argument today. After it all, I apologized for being rude and being a jerk. I owned up to everything. He replies to me pretty much like this, "While I accept your apology, I still think you're an immature and can't hold a conversation."

I responded by deleting then blocking him.

Am I right in doing this, filmspotting nation? We can all get mean and nasty to each other, but once someone apologizes, people should try their best to settle the dust. That's how I see it anyways.

Hey Totoro...sorry to hear this .  That's always hard.  :-\

It would be unfair of me to try to make a judgement call based on just this.  It'd be too easy for me to fall on one side or the other based on recent interactions I've hard with peole in my life.  My advice is determine if this is person worth being friends with - only you can make that call ( and there is no right or wrong answer).  But either way - behave in a way that brings you the outcome you want, not in the way that satisfies a loose set of social interaction rules.  In my 150 or so years  on this planet I've yet to hear a good decision start with phrase "I shouldn't have to be the one...". 

Lastly - I'll leave you with something my Dad always said growing up, and it's mantra I live by:  "You can have it your way, or you can make everyone else happy.  You can't have both.  Decided which one you want then don't look back".

Thanks ferris and thanks guys.

It was the straw that broke the camel's back. He's dismissed me several times in the past. When ever I'm hanging out with him in a group, I'd try to connect and make a conversation. He'd just brush me off in favor of his friends or girlfriend. Once he invited me to come with him to a club as a group to have fun and dance. He left me at the club with one of his friends (who was a guy, btw) that I don't know to go have sex with his girlfriend in the car.

You're right, ferris. And besides. There are plenty of nicer people to befriend in the world.

tinyholidays

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Re: General Chatter
« Reply #636 on: September 25, 2011, 08:30:16 AM »
I missed noting my two-year board anniversary yesterday. In that period, I've moved five times, so I'd like to thank you guys for providing a constant location of community while I pinball around North America. It's definitely helped me maintain a sense of stability.

My goal for the next year? Stop being such a wimp and go back to writing fun, meaty, in-depth reviews.

ferris

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Re: General Chatter
« Reply #637 on: September 25, 2011, 02:13:35 PM »
I missed noting my two-year board anniversary yesterday. In that period, I've moved five times, so I'd like to thank you guys for providing a constant location of community while I pinball around North America. It's definitely helped me maintain a sense of stability.

My goal for the next year? Stop being such a wimp and go back to writing fun, meaty, in-depth reviews.

Two years!  Cool!
"And if thou refuse to let them go, behold, I will smite all thy borders with frogs" - Exodus 8:2 KJV
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ferris

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Re: General Chatter
« Reply #638 on: September 25, 2011, 02:16:46 PM »
« Last Edit: September 25, 2011, 02:21:08 PM by ferris »
"And if thou refuse to let them go, behold, I will smite all thy borders with frogs" - Exodus 8:2 KJV
(switchboard)

oldkid

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Re: General Chatter
« Reply #639 on: September 26, 2011, 09:52:12 AM »
My goal for the next year? Stop being such a wimp and go back to writing fun, meaty, in-depth reviews.

Great goal!

Happy anniversary!  It feels like you've just joined...  huh.  My third anniversary is this next February.  Actually, it's the day before my daughter's birthday (the one who doesn't participate here), so I should remember.
"It's not art unless it has the potential to be a disaster." Bansky

 

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